so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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