Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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