i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
