Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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