Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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