YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
two words...techno handjob
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
