That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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