oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
