did you get engaged???
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
