just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
