He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
