1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My vagina is officially offended.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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