I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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