if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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