it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
