Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
