I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
