there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
