Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
