You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
