I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
