Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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