you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
