if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
