it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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