I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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