Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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