so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
