Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
