She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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