I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I need to calm my uterus...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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