ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
