But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
