Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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