Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
