names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
