Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
