is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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