girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
