Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
