I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
