when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
