We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
