Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
