covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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