kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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