oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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