why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you š
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Getting a smaller wine glass hasnāt changed the amount I drinkāit just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
His wife found the thong I āforgotā in his glovebox
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