drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
