it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
