I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
If its not for food we ain't going out.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
