My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
