My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
