I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I can't turn off my feet"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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